In His Eyes
by spiderweb . sitar
Summary: [MWPP songfic]Everything worth living for is there in his eyes...


Author's Note: Wow, I wrote this at least two years ago, and I happened to just find it in my livejournal. Even though it's so old, I feel that the writing is pretty darn good. The song is "In His Eyes" from the musical Jekyll and Hyde. Reviews make me a happy lil girl! 

_I sit and watch the rain,  
And see my tears run down the windowpane...  
I sit and watch the sky.  
And I can hear it breathe a sign...  
I think of him,  
How we were...  
And when I think of him,  
Then I remember..._

The fragile man lay on his stomach in his bed, and looked out the window against which the head of the bed was resting. The tears poured down his face, as the raindrops poured down from the heavens above. The very same heavens where his best friend was. He was the only person he trusted... his only real friend. Sure, James was always there for a bit of a laugh, and Peter was kind to him, but Sirius was the only one he was able to connect with.

_ In his eyes I can see  
Where my heart longs to be!  
In his eyes I see a gentle glow,  
And that's where I'll be safe, I know!  
Safe in his arms, close to his heart...  
But I don't know quite where to start..._

A teenager, older than he looked, sat on his bed, shaking and crying. The note he had just finished writing laid on the maroon quilt upon which the boy sat, the ink smudging as it dried, due to the tears of it's author. He had finished it. The letter to his parents. The note which held his fate. The note which told of his homosexuality. He knew what the outcome would be. He knew that his parents would ultimately reject him.

He looked up quickly as the door opened, and drew a sharp breath, trying to hold in the deluge of tears that threatened to pour down his sunken cheeks. His amber eyes, blurred with tears, focused on the figure in front of him. Tall, strong, handsome. Long, dark hair cascading around the sculpted shoulders. The haunting grey eyes, bright one minute, stormy the next.

"What happened?" he asked, in a deep, but caring voice. The teenager wiped away his tears, but they still poured. "I wrote them. I told them about... about..." He stopped midsentence. "Us," the dark-haired boy finished. The young-looking teen nodded, and was embraced in the strong arms of his lover. "Shh... shh... it'll be ok..." He soothed, and stroked the boy's light brown hair. "It'll be ok, Remus. I promise." He nudged his chin up, and looked into the amber eyes that enticed him from the beginning, once jubilant, now mournful. "We can go away from here. Leave them behind. Far, far away... where they won't be able to find us. Where we can be happy," He said, smiling through his own tears. He always cried when Remus did. Always. He brushed a lock of way hair away from his lover's eyes. "They'll disown me, Sirius. They'll refuse to let me back into their house," Remus said, sobbing. "Then go stay with James. I'll be there, and I'm sure his parents won't mind. They're nuts about you," Sirius said, trying to cheer Remus up. "But I'd still be living with the fact that my parents hate me," Remus replied.

Sirius shifted his weight, and flicked a stray piece of hair behind his ear. "Why did you write to them in the first place?" He asked. Remus sighed. "I've always been open with them. After all they did, I couldn't keep things from them without going mad," He said tearfully. "Whatever happens, Remus. You'll have me," Sirius vowed, and pressed his lips to Remus'. Through his tears, Remus smiled. "And that's all I need."

_By looking in his eyes,  
Will I see beyond tomorrow?  
By looking in his eyes,  
Will I see beyond the sorrow  
That I feel_

A painful scream was emitted from the man as, though quite human, finished transforming into his previous state. The transformations had became much more painful in the past few months. A red, early light poured in through the window, and with a final moan, he collapsed onto the dark cherry-wood floor. Sirius quickly got up from his chair in the other room, and knocked on the door. "Remus, love? Are you ok?" He asked, gently.

No answer.

"Remus, can you unlock the door for me?" He asked.

No answer.

The animagus grew nervous. "Remy?" He paused, and took a deep breath. "Remy, are you alright?" He asked, getting more anxious by the second. He fiddled with the chain around his neck, and pulled it off in a swift movement, and grasped its charm: a single, brass key, and fit it into the lock. He opened the door quickly, and gasped at what he saw. His lover was in a shallow pool of his own blood. "Remus!" He exclaimed, and ran to him. Sirius sat down on his knees, and gingerly lifted Remus onto his lap. He brushed away the stray hair that was on his face, soaked with sweat, and took his pulse. He was still alive. Sirius rocked him back and forth, and began to cry. The gentle motion caused the man's eyes to flutter open. "Sirius, I'm sorry..." He said hoarsely. "Sorry? For what?" Sirius asked. "For worrying you. For being such a burden," He said, looking up. "Remus, you're not a burden, I swear. I love you, and no matter what happens, your presence will never be a hindrance," Sirius replied, and kissed him. "You're the only thing that keeps me going, Sirius. Without you, I'd be dust," Remus said, with a raspy quality to his voice.

_I know their every look,  
They're like an open book,  
But most of all the look  
That hypnotized me!_

11 year old Remus J. Lupin sat quietly on the Hogwarts express, in a booth all his own, looking out the window. A taller boy stood in the doorway of the compartment, and sighed. "Damn, it's my bloody luck there's wouldn't be an empty compartment. D'you mind if I sit here?" He asked Remus. He turned his head to look at the stranger, and nearly lost his breath. The other boy was beautiful. He looked up at him, and nodded, unable to speak. His eyes were a magnificent shade of grey, dark and stormy, and, like rain clouds, seemed as if they would burst and send showers pouring down. "I'm Sirius, Sirius Black," The boy said, trying not to seem weak, nor scared. Remus finally spoke, after a few seconds hesitation. "I'm Remus Lupin," he replied. He looked back to the window, and noticed that the previously pleasant day had turned cold, and stormy.

Just like Sirius' eyes.

He shivered; his robes were quite thin, and he didn't have warm clothing underneath. Sirius took notice. "D'you want my jacket?" He asked. "You'll be cold, then," Remus said. "It doesn't matter. I've got a sweater on underneath my robes," he informed the boy. "Okay, then." Remus replied, and awkwardly accept Sirius' dragonhide bomber jacket.

_If I'm wise I will walk away  
And gladly  
But sadly I'm not wise  
It's hard to talk away  
The mem'ries that you prize_

He rolled over onto his back, and propped himself up on his elbows. "I wish I could just forget him," He said to himself, softly. "Just so the pain would go away." Remus didn't mean the words, of course. Not after all the good times they had. All the long nights that they'd stay wrapped in each other's warm embrace, surrounded by candlelight (Sirius had always liked candles), the treacherous full moons, the hangovers that Sirius had had from too much firewhiskey. He would never forget him, no matter how long he lived.

_Love is worth forgiving for!  
Now I realize -  
Everything worth living for  
Is there, in his eyes_

He had told Sirius not to go, that he was a wanted man, and that leaving Grimmauld Place would be dangerous. But he didn't listen. He never did... He had hated him for leaving. If he had only listened.

The man stood up shakily, and made his way slowly to his desk. He opened a drawer (the third down on the right side), and pulled out a tattered photo album. He opened it, and flipped through the crinkly pages. He ran a skeletal finger over his favorite picture. It was Sirius, when they had gone to Hogsmeade for a weekend. Before he was being hunted. The grin upon his lips forced Remus to smile. The eyes shone bright, not the constant dull they had been these last few months. The spark that he had fallen in love with was still there. All he had even needed was there, in his eyes.


End file.
